Megagame Makers

If you read this you are playing Goddess Empress or The Mistress of Steam.

To clarify something first. The Goddess Empress is not a God. She is the president for life of a constitutional republic*. She is just called the Goddess Empress to poke fun at those stuck up Longbeard pricks next door. You rule a modestly sized dwarf colony under a nice firm pair of hills and suddenly you are a high king? Dude, at best you are the Baron of modest height!

*So yeah the Gnomish Confederacy is not a true confederacy either.

Everything below this either a Gnomish trade secret, or Gnomish Top Secret!

The biggest allies of the Confederacy are the Illuminati. A secret society in the free city of Ur pretending to be a local wizards guild/political party called the Temple Hermits. We've banded together to develop kewl magic secrets and to undermine 'The Grand Design' of 'The High Council of the Elves'.

The Grand Design

The High Council of the Elves decreed some 5,000 years ago that the then primitive human populations of the world would merit further attention from elf-kind. The Council made a number of important rulings which all elves have agreed to obey. These were:

1. That humans should be developed in their potential to better equip them to (in time) become a high quality slave race for the Elder Race. (Note: This should come about in 1,000 years from the present).
2. To bring this about, the humans would be tested and carefully bred over a long period. The weeding out of weaklings would be achieved by causing many wars.
3. Constant warfare would keep the human race from becoming too numerous to control. This is why every century or so there is an apocalyptic 'war against the forces of Darkness'.
4. Elves were forbidden to hunt humans for pleasure any more (up until this time human hunting was the second most popular elvish pastime), or to capture them for medical experiments.

The Illuminati & the Gnomes are not yet ready to confront the Elves. So their knowledge of the 'The Grand Design' should be kept very secret.

The weak spot of the Elves

The Elves have impressive magic, but they have stopped innovating a long time ago. Both the Illuminati and the Gnomes have developed powerful new magics. Their biggest breakthrough is the Battery spell. A ritual that makes it possible disentangle and store the 2 kinds of mana that fuel all large scale magics. This makes fueling such rituals both more reliable and more powerful.

The recently build 'Giant Ziggurat of Urr' covering most of the Town stores red mana. The 'Grand Imperial Spell Throne' in Mount Central Heating stores black mana.

The Goddess Empress and The Mistress of Steam are wizards. They have certain powers.

All Gnome wizard characters that are played can use these at will. Success is automatic.

• Khulip's Nasal Enhancement This Gnome girl has a nose implant, making her look very alluring in the eyes of dwarf men. During the game you wear a sticker reminding everybody of your big nose.
• The Protection of the Goddess Empress You are immune to the effect of Smokes of Paradise, Yanking someone's eyeballs out and the Charm of Forlorn Encystment.

These are massive magical rituals requiring over a 100 participants, multiple hours and lots of steam. A wizard player must go and request a ritual from the magic umpire during the magic phase. The Gnomish Confederacy can only cast 1 spell each turn. There are separate spell lists for Tactical and Strategic turns. A player who adds nice touches, or theatrics in the description gets a bonus. Effects can be made to appear anywhere on the map. The order in which spells are resolved by the Magic Umpire is based on a first come first serve basis. The Illuminati & The Gnomes can link up to cast a ritual spell together. Only one team needs to know the spell. Spells use either red mana or black mana. Certain spells also use other ingredients often with limited availability those can only be cast when they are in the possession of the caster. Players need to provide evidence to the Magic Umpire that they have (and are expending) those ingredients.

• Battery You are already collecting (black mana) to cast spells with in the future. 6 mana is gathered and the black mana + jokers are stored in your Battery. Your storage location is the Grand Imperial Spell Throne at the heart of Mount Central Heating. When the Gnomes cast an appropriate spell later, some, or all of their mana can be drawn from the Throne, player's choice. This spell was developed in coöperation by the Gnomes and the Illuminati. It is a breakthrough in magic design and a state secret of both Ur and the Confederacy. It is still somewhat experimental and the Illuminati claim there is possibly a limit to how much mana can be safely stored in a Battery. You start the game with 9 mana (8 black +1 joker) already stored.

• Beldane's Subterranean Borer (black mana) This spell fuels a short jaunt with a Gnomish contraption, that functions like a submarine except it travels through massive stone instead of water. It can travel to any spot on the map. It can serve as a food or Troops transport. Freeing someone from the Charm of Forlorn Encystment with this? Easy. This spell can be cast again as long as the Borer ends its turn back in Mount Central Heating. Cost: 1 black mana delivers a 1 way trip to any location in the game, 1 additional mana is needed to return it to Mount CH. Each large cargo (a military unit, or enough Food Tokens to last Ur a strategic turn) costs an extra mana. Beyond the mana cost there is no limit to the amount of cargo this thing can transport.

• Dwarfs' Culinary Bounty (red mana) An enormous feast is created, worth 4 Food Tokens for each red mana. Special: This originated as a Dwarven spell. Dwarven cuisine is wonderful, but a lot of it is very different from what everybody else eats. Side effects from Jokers usually manifest as a high portion of the meal consisting of traditional Dwarven delicacies.

• The Gnomish Sidewheeler (black mana) The procedure to launch the Gnomish Sidewheeler airship called 'The Good Ship Lollypop', it is apparently powered by several giant hamsters, running inside 2 massive hamster wheels mounted to the side of the 'ship. On board are the G.A.M's, The Gnomish Air Marines with their fearless leader captain Kiwk. It leaves from Mount Central Heating. After reaching the intended target, it crashes into it (or in Gnome parlance:“a controlled landing”), resolve the unit as a raid. Ignore all the usual modifiers and replace them with a flat +1 bonus. Roll 1 die for each mana and keep the 1 with the highest result. The marines&Hamsters then disappear, beaming away Star Trek style. The ship relaunches into the skies completely unharmed if the spell is cast again.

• The Hot Air Balloon (black mana) Launches some observation balloons. Balloons are useful for artillery spotting and gathering detailed intelligence about troop sizes and movement, meaning that if they want to, an umpire can give some extra intelligence to the gnome nation. Balloons stay aloft until taken down by a raid.

• Aldryk's Fire Quencher (black mana) Activates part of the gigantic sprinkler installation that draws from the lake between the Tits and has been wired throughout most of the city of Urr and the inside of the mount Central Heating. Any fire in an affected area will go out and the affected area will be flooded. If the cause of the fire is still active in the location (say an impertinent dragon), than that cause will be soaked in an ungodly amount of water. Cost: 1 black mana allows the wizard to flood any area in Urr or Mount Central Heating he chooses. 8 hogsheads of water for each additional black mana are dumped on the cause of the fire if it is in range. A joker activates the entire system flooding both Urr and the Gnomish Confederacy.
• Bladderwick's Gnomish Catapult (black mana) Launches a bunch of mattresses and than the gnome Mattress Jaeger unit from Mount Central Heating to any open space on the map. Each black mana means that 1 step worth of Mattress Jaeger appears intact (as in not turned into 'tomato paste'), all steps if there is a Hot Air Balloon aloft to spot the location. This spell can only be cast if the Jaeger are currently stationed in Mount Central Heating. There is only 1 Mattress Jaeger unit. It starts in Mount CH.
• Blue Shirt of Life (black mana) Are you colour blind?! You are not a redshirt, you are a blue-shirt! Pick a battle for each black mana. Remove all damage done to your side on combat phase 1, at the start of combat phase 2. Yes, this can resurrect slain units. This spell requires special alchemically modified indigo dye. There is only 1 dose of this. It is in Gnomish hands, but is a raiding target.
• Earthmaw (black mana) This is one of those spells casting of which gets announced by the umpire to all players. A gaping maw opens in Mount CH, with lips of basalt, teeth of obsidian and a tongue multiple furlongs long and made of lava. For each black mana an entire unit is destroyed in an instant. This spell can only be used to defend Mount CH. Each casting raises the terror track in Urr by 1 point.
• Snapdragon Fireworks (black mana) An extremely intimidating fireworks display. Certain units will run away and refuse to fight this tactical turn. This affects all Free Folk, all Militia of the Wall, all Ogres and all Kobolds. This applies to 1 battle for each mana. There are only enough fireworks for 1 casting. They are in Gnomish hands, but are a raiding target.
• Helmet of Otranto (black mana) Transforms one or more dwarvish war helmet(s) into a helmet looking fortress/tower(s). Such a helmet has to be in place on the spot where the wizard wants to grow a tower. The tower remains for the rest of the game. It is as sturdy as something forged by dwarfs out of mithril, with walls as thick as a royal cubit can be. A Helmet will provide a refuge for 1 unit. A unit inside one of these will have a +4 defense modifier that cannot be reduced. Cost 1 black mana for each helmet. No they can't be dismantled and sold of as scrap. They cannot be used to plug holes in the city walls.
• Kruze's Magnificent Missiles (black mana) Rocket artillery! Containing itching powder!… Well o.k. it is not the most lethal weapon. Still, a missile filled with very strong itching powder takes out a unit for one whole tactical turn. Anybody inside that unit is incapacitated for that turn. Getting this spell to target the exact unit you want can be…difficult.. an umpire picks targets out of the stack at random unless there is an observation balloon spotting the barrage. One unit is incapacitated for each black mana collected. There is only 1 dose of Itching Powder. It is in Gnomish hands, but is a raiding target.