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ur:team-elves:elves_briefing [2017/12/26 10:31]
marcs [The Free City of Urr] 		ur:team-elves:elves_briefing [2017/12/31 14:10] (current)
marcs [The Dwarves]
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 ==== The Dark Empire ==== ==== The Dark Empire ====
 +Nothing but a tool. Current planning has it being destroyed in the next 'Great Apocalyptic War Against The Forces of Darkness'. Just check to see if it is still working as intended. If it is, we'll be toppling the throne of the current emperor's grandson. If not we'll start that war slightly earlier. Just a couple of decades...
  
 ==== The Free City of Urr ==== ==== The Free City of Urr ====
-Urr is an unimportant human city state in a strategically somewhat important spot. Naturally they are going to get stomped by the current version of the Evil(TM) Dark Lord in this generations purge of humanity. +Urr is an unimportant human city state in a strategically somewhat important spot. Naturally they are going to get stomped by the current version of the Evil Dark Lord in this generations purge of humanity. 
  
 The citizens of Urr seem to be closer to the elven ideal for the human race than for example the folks over at Yendor. In the grand scheme it may be helpful to save either the whole of Urr, or a remnant of its population and culture. The considerable magic powers of the observers can be used to accomplish this goal if deemed worthwhile. There is even a modest force of elven archers available if needed. It better not be needed! Elf lives are very precious! The citizens of Urr seem to be closer to the elven ideal for the human race than for example the folks over at Yendor. In the grand scheme it may be helpful to save either the whole of Urr, or a remnant of its population and culture. The considerable magic powers of the observers can be used to accomplish this goal if deemed worthwhile. There is even a modest force of elven archers available if needed. It better not be needed! Elf lives are very precious!
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 ==== The Dwarves ==== ==== The Dwarves ====
-As far as the Elves are concerned the Dwarfs are essentially the French. They are hairy, smelly, cowardly, oversexed pervertes that eat weird food. As long as you do not damage the basic trade relations that exist, you can safely ignore them.+As far as the Elves are concerned the Dwarves are essentially the French. They are hairy, smelly, cowardly, oversexed pervertes that eat weird food. As long as you do not damage the basic trade relations that exist, you can safely ignore them.
  
-**The Cave of the Longbeards**+**The Cave of the Longbeards**\\ 
 These are the sad ossified remains of the only semi-cool dwarf culture ever. Their ancestors did some interesting (if derivative of Elvish craftmanship) stuff. Now they cling to those secrets as easy sources of income and as a deterrent to people who might hurt them. These are the sad ossified remains of the only semi-cool dwarf culture ever. Their ancestors did some interesting (if derivative of Elvish craftmanship) stuff. Now they cling to those secrets as easy sources of income and as a deterrent to people who might hurt them.
  
-**The vulcano of the Gnomes** +**The vulcano of the Gnomes**\\  
-These are the most effeminate dwarfs. They were banished to this unsafe hellhole by the more butch sub-culture of the Longbeards. The gnome goddess empress (weird inappropriate title) is supposed to be the concubine of the Longbeard High King. But apparently one of the two is incapable of satisfying the other so their relationship is strained. The Gnomes claim they have taken up the mantle of innovators, but nothing they make ever works.+These are the most effeminate dwarfs. They were banished to this unsafe hellhole by the more butch sub-culture of the Longbeards. The gnome goddess empress (weird inappropriate title) is supposed to be the concubine of the Longbeard High King. But apparently one of the two is incapable of satisfying the other, so their relationship is strained. The Gnomes claim they have taken up the mantle of innovators, but nothing they make ever works.
  
-**The Cave of the Redbeards** +**The Caves of the Redbeards**\\  
-They scratch out a very modest living by producing simple metal ware. Cutlery, horseshoes and shovels.+They scratch out a very modest living by producing simple metal ware, cutlery, produce, horseshoes and shovels.
  
  
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     1) Well unimaginative breeding sex really. The Free Folk are very strongly into fertility, because of their high mortality rate.     1) Well unimaginative breeding sex really. The Free Folk are very strongly into fertility, because of their high mortality rate.
-    2) Mostly to display their hatred for us. There just isn't that much nubile flesh, on the bed of an innocent elf maiden.+    2) Mostly to display their hatred for us. There just isn't that much nubile flesh on the bones of an innocent elf maiden.
     3) And that's why we are interested in possibly preserving 'The Free City of Urr', we want to turn all of humanity into our dogs.      3) And that's why we are interested in possibly preserving 'The Free City of Urr', we want to turn all of humanity into our dogs. 
     They are an interesting case study.     They are an interesting case study.
ur/team-elves/elves_briefing.1514284316.txt.gz · Last modified: 2017/12/26 10:31 by marcs

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